A Long Time

It has been a long time since I have had some quiet time to sit down and just pour out my feelings. It is long over due and very much needed. So much is going on in my busy life at the moment. Jan 29th I went before the Judge for my Disability. I was awarded my disability after four long years. It has been a battle. I wept as I was leaving the building. I have prayed to God for this for so long it seems. I ultimately left it in his hands. I said to him, "If it is your will for me than let it be and if not then so be it." It still will be a few more weeks before I get the confirmation letter in the mail. Then my monthly pymts should start coming. I thought that once I was granted my disability that it would lift a huge burden off my shoulders, yet I find myself worring now about other things and how best to handle certain situations. I don't want to mess anything up. I have to make my choices very carefully. This is my last chance at a fresh start and to freedom. I am 40years old now. I have made many mistakes over the years. I have grown wiser because of them. I've learned to be very cautious with matters. I want my family to have some happiness for a change. We will most certainly be taking a long over due vacation. I also want to do some things for my parents, my churches, and other organizations that has helped me over the last four years. I just pray the lord will guide me down the right path. Help me to use this for the better and not the worse. I guess the best thing I can do to begin with is just right down everything I need to do. It will all work out. That I am sure of. Well for now I must go. Time goe's to fast.